This last year I’ve actually been out of college. It’s been liberating. I had time to mentally recoop and work on myself. Kinda. I focused my time at work and moved my way up from Cake Decorator, to Shift Leader, to Assist Manager! It’s my first job where I ever climbed the ladder! I’m proud of myself for doing this. It was hard though. And I got really depressed at my job. I broke down a lot. I cried. I felt like I was always attacked or talked down to at times. I felt like my words didn’t make a difference. But this last couple of months I got better. I’ve worked on not letting what coworkers say bother me as much. It took me time to realize that I wasn’t disliked more than anyone else there.
Don’t get me wrong. There were (and are) MANY things wrong with the place. I don’t feel like it’s really right to go into detail though. I don’t want to burn bridges. And I do still want to see the place grow after I’ve left. I think that in the end that at least some of the people there are giving their all for the customers. And that’s what’s important. It’s important to me anyway. When I finally grew up a little and starting getting better coping skills, that’s when the big change happened. I got a new, and amazing job opportunity at a place I used to work. I’m going to be a Pharmacy Technician! I’m happy because there will be some familiarity to it, and I have done some growing up since last time I was there, nearly 2 years ago. It’s weird how a little life change can suddenly snap your attitude on life around. It reminded me that what I do isn’t for nothing!
When I took the year off of college, I went to a vocational school. That’s where I took the Pharm Tech classes to get me to this point. I made a really good friend, who is a little crazy but she’s funny and eccentric and makes me laugh in class. She’s competitive but she helps me study. I’ll call her Kathrine. (The K is for Klonopin… She has anxiety and takes Klonopin. And when she does… She becomes Klonopin Kathrine bahahahaha!) She had been really supportive of me like a big sister/mama bird. 🐦 She’s moving after the class but I hope I can keep in touch with her! I wish her so much happiness in her endeavors.
I just, feel like I crossed a bridge. And it’s not like a “oh maybe my rainbow will be on the other side if I keep going” bridge that I’ve written about before. Like no. I got to the other side of the bridge. I have the fucking rainbow! I can taste it! I did something for myself! I went to school, and got a job in my field! And I’m going to be making so much more money! Even my just starting out is better than I make as assistant manager in fast food…
Sad but fast food is just hard place to make money in without working your booty to the limit. I don’t mean this in a bad way though. Fast food is such a good way to grow and get better. Now that I’m a better adult, I realized, that the job itself, the cleaning up, talking to customers, making food, is simple. It’s not easy, but it’s simple. What I mean by that is, if you are good at prioritizing your tasks, then you can accomplish everything you need to do. Now let’s be real, working fast food and making plans is the equivalent of trying to kill a D&D monster and rolling a Nat 1, i.e. shit don’t go according to plan. Machines break down, customers get mad even when you’ve literally done everything you can offer. Like it’s hard at times, and it can be hard on bodies too. But if you are able, you can shine at your job. Customers will notice, especially if you are a front house worker. Not every work environment can be a healthy one though, so make sure to take care of yourself if you find things just aren’t working out.
I just know I wanted to get into a better environment, and I worked hard to get there. I really appreciate everything good that my managers and coworker have done for me. Especially the owner. We got off on the wrong foot like really really bad at first, but I think we got to a point where I could talk to him and he’s being nice… maybe because one time I got yelled at cause I was trash talking and then I cried cause I wasn’t expecting to get yelled at, and then he was like omg didn’t mean to make you cry… (Honestly I’m still really sensitive so I cry a lot. He saw all my tears. He probably thinks I’m coocoo 😂) But he trusts me to get things taken care of, and I helped him out with a lot of extra projects. Like *sarcasm* cool office computer stuff! But like typing stuff that’s important like making Excel spreadsheets of business revenues and costs etc. It was cool to see that in action after taking business classes my last year I was in college. All in all, I appreciate the growth I made there.
I’m just waiting on my background check and drug test to get back to the Pharmacy Technician job. Nothing should pop up but like, don’t wanna accidentally jinx myself! I’m just really excited.
I have more to say but I’m gonna try to make one more blog post! Cya soon!