Engagement

Dean and I have been together for a lil over 10 months bit we both decided that we want to spend the rest of our lives with each other. I do love him, and I’m in love with him and he feels the same way about me.

Of course we still bicker. Things aren’t perfect, but I love the progress we’ve made with eachother, and I know that all we can do is go up from here. We’ve built our apartment from the ground up. We went from nothing but couch and a couch cushion to sleep on to a full living room set and a dining room and an office with a fish tank, and a queen size bed and dressers and we got thermal curtains to keep the apartment cooler. My dad, aunt, and even my mom (with very minor things) has helped me transport furniture and gave us a few gifts. We’ve even been able to save a LOT of money and it’s come in handy for when I had to get a new starter for my car.

Well Dean proposed to me this morning. We picked out our rings together and have matching black and rose gold tungsten bands. We didn’t ask dad for his blesing yet, so I can’t be too open about it, but we are still planning on asking him and etc.

I’m kinda tipsy right now and I regret it. I drunk the wine too fast and feel sick. So if this had a lot of typos I’m sorry. Feels like I’m dying of alcohol poisoning (not really but I’m just bleh). My fiance is here comforting me even though I’ve been a meanie all night. He’s so good to me. We are planning on having the wedding in May after I get my associates on business degree.

Well just wanted to tell y’all the news. Love y’all. Be safe.

P.S. Bonus meme versions of ourselves and a pic from our journey to an old graffiti-ed bridge in my old neighborhood.

To Catch You Up On My Life

So once again I totally apologize for not posting that much. I feel like I have less internal conflicts do I don’t feel the need to write about things. None-the-less I’ve realized that I’ve gained a few followers, so I’ll try to keep y’all entertained.

Currently
I am now 18 years old. I turned 18 back in February.
I still drive my beautiful 2000 Honda Accord (I named her Mercedes, because she used to be a rental car before I got her, so in a way she used like a ho, but she a classy ho).
I’m going to be honest, I have not regularly attended church in a long time. I feel like I need to find a better church for me. I am still a Christian though, and I believe that since God loves all anyway, that we should try to love and at least tolerate those around us (but don’t let a serial killer get away with murder, we still love him but he has to be locked up 😂😂😂).
I graduated from high school with a golden tassel, and I am now a college student. Life is grand, but Chemistry is hard as a damn rock.

My Love Life
I actually did have a boyfriend for a while, he had been a friend of mine since like 2nd grade. But I didn’t feel satisfied in the relationship because we both worked a lot and didn’t have a lot of time to spend with each other. On top of it, I felt like he might have liked me more, than I liked him and I felt like that wasn’t fair to him. I had kinda felt iffy about the relationship from the start so I decided we should break up. To be completely honest though, I hate it now. I’m not saying I hate him, or I hated the relationship, or I hate being single, but I hate that I feel like I ruined our friendship. Like after we broke up he said we could still be friends, but I’ve been the only one who has tried to start the convo and he hardly responds. I guess I need to give it a lot of time but it hurts. I wasn’t in love with him, but I loved him, and I hate that we don’t talk now. And I miss his dog and his crazy step brother, and I really I miss him.

I don’t know what to do right now, other than to wait. But he did mention he wanted to leave this hell hole of a city we live in, so I don’t know what will happen from there.

Job History
I was at Qdoba for 9 months.
I got fired for my attitude and then two months later got a job at Burger King for 6 months.
I still kept in contact with Rico, because Marci and I both liked to talk to him. I ended up getting offered my job back with a entire dollar raise (making bank bro). I got Marci to work with me too.
I left Qdoba because I couldn’t deal with how rude Dawg and X were being, so I quit.
It took a while but I got hired at Walmart as a baker and my title is a sales associate.
I have currently been at Walmart for about 4-5 months and I love most of my coworkers really. There is only one I don’t like at all as much. I think all of the ones in my department are like 25 and up, and it’s great because I have always gotten along with the older crowd a little better, for I am an old soul.

What’s Next
Well it just occurred to me I never talked about my squad on here, so there will definitely be an upcoming post on all of them. Also I’m going to cover my car, Mercedes, in detail. I’m going to talk about my lifestyle changes as well.

I hope that you all have a wonderful morning (it’s 9:05am here), and God bless you all.

Well…

Well needless to say I don’t work at Qdoba anymore. I got an attitude with Rico and another newer manager Pam and that got me fired. It’s nice not having a job now but I miss it a bit. I need a new job. Qdoba took away everything I loved. Conner walked out weeks before I was fired and Jay was fired shortly before I was. It sucked being fired… but whatever… life goes on. It’s part of growing up, like Rick told me.

Anyway I am at a pretty frustrating point in my life right now. My parents have been divorced for like 9 years now? 7 years? I honestly can’t remember, but nonetheless it’s been a long time. My mom and dad both live in the same town so I get to see them both as much as I want. I normally live with my mom during the school year and live with my dad during the summer, and it’s summer now in Oklahoma (we get out of school likeĀ  May 23rd and go back Aug 18th). Anyway long context explanation aside, my mom is trying to get alimony from my dad even though she still gets child support during the summer when I am not there, she gets disability checks for being bipolar and she still has a job, on top of that fact that dad has paid A LOT of her debts and had saved her ass from serious IRS problems multiple times. While she is my mother and I love her, she is a very selfish and cruel woman and she isn’t the best mother out there. She does not deserve that alimony money but she is SET on getting it to buy a $300,000 house WHEN ONLY ME AND HER WOULD LIVE IN IT AND I’MA BE GOING TO COLLEGE SOON!. I have to go to court some time in July or maybe as late as September. I don’t wanna testify against my mom but I know she doesn’t deserve that money! It’s a long story as to why she doesn’t but either way my dad is REALLY stressed out and I am worried about his health. He works at Goodyear with a broken back. Not healthy. I just want my mom to drop the money thing but she won’t and it just freaking sucks…. I am pretty depressed about it….

I also smashed the tail light on my ’00 Honda Accord cause I am STUPIDDDD. I mean I was on a freaking mission and it didn’t click on my head that my bro parked his truck right behind mine. I t-boned it and now have a dent in my trunk. His truck is perfectly fine though. Yeah I CRIED SO HARD CAUSE I THOUGH MY DAD AND BROTHER WERE JUST GOING TO JUDGE ME. We are going to the junkyard to look for a new trunk though. Fun fun! Maybe I’ll find some cool stuff out there too.

I haven’t talked to Zachary since like the end of April. What I told him probably ruined it though. I don’t think he really wanted to be with me… I also see Jay occasionally by it you know, nothing going on there. I really miss Conner. He just made me feel so… Lord, I am not sure if I can even talk about that without getting flagged for content! Well I might talk about it in the future once I find like innuendos or like a safer way to put it. (I really wanted Conner all over me!!!) But anyway I am just here. Looking for husband. Hoping I find a decent guy.

I am just at a weird point in my life right now. Like I am 17, never had a boyfriend and I have my 3rd car already. (Explained later) I still can’t ride a bike and I am finally a Senior in High School. I want to do drugs just to get away from everything but I know that is wrong and I am scared to disappoint my father cause he really wants me to do well. He said I’ll be the first kid of his to officially graduate high school if I make it. I am just trying to find myself. I mean who am I really? Am I that happy-go-lucky stoner type who listens to indie rock and just wants to have fun, or am I that selfless big-hearted jerk who really just wants to do well? I mean I don’t know, I just really want to figure it out. I know what I wanna do but I can’t find the school for it. I want to be a radiologist technician but there is still so much I don’t know about college and it’s scary. I kinda want like a guy to go through all this with cause maybe I’ll find that little piece of me that was missing. I mean I guess I coulda had that and I threw it away so many times…

Sorry I have just been so emotional and reflective like the entire month… it’s hard. It’s confusing. I feel weird. And I am rambling too much. I’ll let you get back to your day, my love.